husband (of 7 years) doesn’t understand my financial strain and stress help please!!!!?
My husband and I are under major financial stress right now. I just got a part-time job which was very difficult to come by these days. His mom has helped us by paying our bills. I need full time work but now near christmas is going to be near impossible to find anything.
(holiday help is already hired.)
He doesn’t work at all…due to some health/ legal things which I won’t get into.
Last night he woke up at 2am and says he can’t sleep….and accuses me of not really being stressed out from our situation becuase I can sleep. My mind goes crazy during the day and when I am at work learning a new job and going to the store and watching other famililes who seem to be able to have a non stressful life.
I tried to explain this to him and he says he doesn’t see that I am effected. Now I feel like I shouldn’t be able to sleep too…so I feel inadequate. I also think that depression can make people sleep more and anxiety can make you stress during your waking hours. I do handle stress very well…and I feel that in order to get through this nasty time in our lives….I have to deal with it in a healthy way for our kids sake and to be able to get up to work everyday.
Any comments from anyone? How can I be more empathetic towards my husband? I know he has stress from not working and stuff, but to make me try and feel like I dont’ show any kinds of stress…that’s just wrong. I want him to know that I am stressed and many times I HAVE told him just how stressed I am and he responds and says ” don’t worry everything will be fine” and ” don’t get all worked up right now.”
I am so confused….
I’m the opposite, I’m not currently working, unable to sleep (right now at least), and he’s the one who sleeps well, works well (new boss, new job function, same company), drinks well, and I’m the who stresses out. It must be our natural ‘woman’ thing! I guess I’m the one who does all the worrying for the both of us.
As for your dh, I think he just needs a little attention. When’s the last time he got some TLC’s?
AFter you’ve told him just how stressed you are, finally he turned around and said ‘don’t worry blah blah . . .’
Just a little attention. You’re not confused, just don’t mention it anymore about it, I’m sure it’ll come up again a month from now.
I mentioned to dh last night, the last time we had this conversation (whatever it was that was bothering me – 2 glasses of wine 7x a week) was a month ago, when I was looking into getting a divorce. just hours before kids came by for Thanksgiving D.
He hugged me and told me he love me so much. But, he & Tiger Woods are both not happy at home. He drinks, TW is into sex. We have the money, the house, the cars, so what’s not to be happy about? Go figure!
It is very frustrating when there is no money coming in to pay the bills.
I don’t know why your husband is not working. Is he getting disanility, workman’s compensation, social security?
Just because he can’t sleep that doesn’t mean that you ‘shouldn’t’ be able to.
You are 2 different people. He needs to see a counselor and get things figured out–he may need medication.