i’m 17 years old. I use to make good grades in school. every since last year, my grades have been dropping and dropping. i feel so alone at home because i seem as if my family is more dysfuntional than it really is. my dad has anger management issues to the point where he will cuss you out and even hit you and slap the crap out of you. my mom is just there. my brother is never home. one minute i’ll be gloomy to the point where i don’t feel liek doign anything. i’ll just sit there and stare off in space and think about stuff. i get easily irritaed and i have mood swings. even if someone does something small, it gets me really pissed off and i want to yell at them. then, i feel guilty after. i’ve been sleeping alot more. even if i get alot of sleep, i still feel tired through out the day and i just want to sleep. i’m not suicidal or anything. i feel like a failure at life and i ready have this mindset where i will be a failure at life. i procrastinate ALOT. i overeat. i eat when i’m bored and when i’m procrastinating because i feel good when i eat. my body is changing. i use to be thin and healthy. now it seems as if my metabolism slowed down. i’ve gained quite a few lbs. not enough to consider me overweight though. its really hard to talk to people, but i just think it’s because i suck at socializing. i’ve been crying a lot. usually because i’m stressed. sometimes for no reason. i jsut feel better when i cry. i want bad things to happen to me because i want people’s sympathy. i guess because its a wayt o make me feel special and that someone cares for me. i hate when it’s sunny and i love it when it rains. i have no energy. i feel drained most of the time. i can’t concentrate on much and i’ve been so impatient and anxious. my memory is horrible. maybe it was like that before? and i have really REALLY low self esteem. i feel like everyone thinks badly of me, tired, and annoyed with me. i don’t know. i know i wrote alot, but i just really want to know if i’m depressed of if it’s just a phase. i feel like i made myself depressed so i have an excuse to be a failure at life and suck at everything. i just want to sleep for most of the time…..
my friends even joke about me being bi polar.
people have to constantly ask if i’m okay.
i actually have a HYPERthyroid
that’s what my doctor said after my bloodwork and that may be the cause for my ireegular periods. i only get them like 4-6 times a year. which is weird because when you have hyperthyroid, you’re suppose to be losing major weight.
i don’t know if you could consider it abuse. my dad doesn’t always hits me. it’s jsut that sometimes he can’t control his anger so he ends up hitting people. there is no gushing blood or anything. my mom did have to call the cops on us once… and i didn’t talk to him for 2 period of 6 months.